Chapter 3.2: My Shiny Teeth & Me

The last place I expect to run into trouble is brushing our teeth. Showering is fine, easy even with Billy handling everything and taking my suggestions like not using the same soap on his body, face, and hair. We use some of the provided shampoo and conditioner instead. I’ll make him get a nice net sponge later. He has so very much to learn about proper self-care. He lets me handle our skincare, fascinated by how our face glows after using some of Angie’s products.

But it’s the teeth that have us spinning our wheels. We’re at the minute mark of simply staring down at our toothbrush, neither of us able to pick a direction after that. Both of us seem to need the routine but, aside from the order of the general steps, we can’t agree on how to complete the task. One of us choosing to take over doesn’t work, the other’s mind refusing to cooperate with the deviation. We can’t agree enough to brute force our way through. I can’t seem to go to sleep and move out the way. Billy falling asleep again is clearly out of the question. So we keep staring at the toothbrush, both of us getting more annoyed by the second. I can feel how the anger is tightening our grip, muscles flexing under the skin, and I do the only thing I can think of to diffuse the situation: I grab our dick and give it a gentle squeeze.

Uhhh, Peej? He might be trying not to squeak, even on the inside where it’s just the two of us, but I can feel all the angry tension oozing out of us to be replaced by arousal. Mission accomplished. Probably. Peej, what are you doing?

Trying something a little different. I still our hand and focus on how it feels, how different it is from what little I remember. If we’re lucky, that’s enough distance that we don’t end up just jerking off. Now brush our fucking teeth before I make a mess please. I feel him give a little salute before blocking out everything else and focusing my whole attention on our hand and what it’s doing. Which is currently slowly massaging our penis through our clothes.

Ugh, penis feels way too clinical. Phallus does too, like something from an art history class. Shaft? God, no. Thankfully he hasn’t named it. Dick. We’ll stick with dick and cock. I rub our palm over the front of our grey sweatpants, humming at the gentle friction of the fabric over such sensitive skin. That’s still the same, the tingle it lets blossom over our skin before fizzling out. I file that away for later. We can all definitely have fun with that at some point. Billy moans audibly and I give that warm glow of his a quick sharp elbow. Right. Time to move on.

I go for more neutral territory, hoping it lets Billy finish before I do. Our hips are one of the places I avoided earlier, the sweep so devastatingly wrong that I almost cried. Again. I must have had some intense curves for that to affect me so much. I try to focus on what’s here instead of what’s not.

It doesn’t change the sensation of a hand gently caressing over the soft fabric covering us. A stray thought about how much these pants must have cost to be this nice crosses my mind before it’s gone with the next pass of our hand.

Billy doesn’t neglect any part for the showier pecs and biceps and whatever, understanding that the whole system needs to be balanced. Our hand roams back to our ass to give it a squeeze and the near complete lack of jiggle still fascinates me. Jiggle is kind of what asses are known for, but this is nice too. I have to work for my grip, earn it. The way it moves is less hypnotic and more mechanical, like watching the gears of some massive exposed engine. I want to give it a slap, see just how much it bites back against our hand and how the sting feels. I wonder how tender it’ll be after, made worse with much less padding or taking a beating. Fuck, there’s just so much potential power here, constantly working to… to…

“Fuck, I’m done. I’m done, okay? I’m done, I’m done, I’m done.” Billy moans and it snaps me back to the present. The present where our lightly tanned cheeks are rosy and bright, our normally vibrant green eyes are half-lidded with pupils blown, and the foam of the toothpaste is dripping from our open mouth in the mirror. We look like we just finished giving the blowjob of our life. Our other shaking hand is still holding the toothbrush. Our eyes drift down to where we’re pressing against the rim of the sink and, yeah, I made us hard. Again. We’re going to need to start chugging water constantly just to not dehydrate at this point. “Please tell me we can agree on how the rest goes.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I gasp out, biting at our plumped lip as the full force of our arousal starts to hit me. “I just… That’s always worked before, redirecting anger. We should… we should…” I finally let go of our ass and we moan again, louder and so much more debauched. “We’re so screwed if we have to do this every day.”
Slowly, we cobble together the faculties to spit and rinse, a hazy and jumbled memory of Billy’s from a frat party surfacing because of the unfamiliar bathroom and our face in the mirror. Rather than go back out to Angie while still thinking about the first time he touched another cock, we plop ourselves on the bench where the stack of towels had been. It creaks balefully at us. We ignore it.

“So, uhhh, I’d forgotten about that,” Billy mumbles, leaning back into the cool tiled wall. “That night in college, I mean. Not exactly like I tried very hard to hold on to the memory. More surprised that I was able to hold on to any of it. Fuck, that was…” He lets out a puff of a breath and shivers. “Is it weird to say what I remember was, you know, good? Hot?”

I don’t respond at first, focusing on grounding us as our heart slows its pounding in our chest. “You’re not about to have a gay panic, right? I think you’re a bit late for that.” We both laugh and it comes out a little too loud.

“No, nothing like that. I mean, I was fantasizing about filling a pussy I don’t have maybe an hour ago and wishing a tongue could reach the cervix I also don’t have. We’re so far past gay panic.” He frowns and looks at the hand I’d used. “I’m pretty sure I was an asshole afterwards though.” He tangles our fingers together in our lap, rapidly making patterns that soothe us both. Something tickles at my brain, like I’ve seen them before. “I used to be kind of a closed off piece of shit before Angie. She really changed me for the better, showed me a lot of new things. God, so many new things.”

I clear our throat as his thoughts start to wander and I feel the blood start to flow to our dick again. “C’mon, focus. And maybe, I don’t know, think about… apologizing…” I trail off as I start to get lost in memory but Billy yanks me back fast. “Sorry, sorry. But maybe we can, I don’t know, both apologize to our exes? Drunken one-night-stand and ex.” I think for a moment. “You’re aware that your whole situation sounds like a stereotypical gay porn plot, right?”

“Deeply,” Billy grumbles, letting go of the patterns to scrub his hands through his auburn hair, leaving the still damp strands a messy mop. “Okay, enough feeling like shit for today. It’s big spoon time!” How he gets off that bench so quickly without crushing it is beyond me. But our erection is mostly gone, his good mood is back, our teeth are finally brushed, and his— our girlfriend is waiting for us, right on the verge of drifting off.

“Heard you in there,” Angie mumbles as we snuggle in tight behind her, all our limbs moving seemingly on their own into a perfect tangle. “How are you two so consistently horny?”

“We just needed a creative solution to our problem,” I murmur, gently dropping a soft kiss just behind her ear. A little flash of memory shows me I’d enjoyed being on the receiving end, and her shiver tells me she feels the same. I could get used to being the big spoon if it was going to be like this. Billy gently burrows our nose into her neck and breathes deep at the same time as he reaches that warm glow of his towards me. I take hold and it’s like I’m pulled in, sandwiched between them and, for the first time I can remember since I died, I actually relax and everything dims until it’s finally black.